Its My Life.

I Live It The Way I Want

More Wedding Drama...
xodaydreamer
I know, you're all shocked that there could possibly be more wedding issues! I swear this wedding is going to be the death of me! And if it is I'm going to come back and haunt the bitch who made it that way!

Ugh. So obviously for the wedding we need to make a list of people who will be invited to the wedding to get a head count. We asked neals mother to do one for her family obviously, and that took forever. But now back in January we had to give the list back so she could start getting addresses for us. Now this was back in the middle of JANUARY its now almost MARCH, and still don't have the list back. Of course there were issues already and arguments, and neal now refuses to go into the house when he picks up his dad to go for a walk. So last night neal was on the phone with his dad, and I said neal the list, and he goes oh yeah and he mentioned the list to his dad, and I guess his dad found all the addresses for the people on his side of the family, and whenever he asks neals mom about the list she changes the subject. I am so sick of her bullshit! Ugh. Seriously, shes outta control. She needs to grow up.  The last argument that went down which is why he won't go in the house anymore...She doesn't understand why we're not getting married in a church. Which I don't understand why its a big deal, its not like she goes to church every sunday, or goes to church at all...We don't which is why we're not getting married in a church, its our decision and we don't want to. Its my fucking wedding and I'll do what I fucking want.
Then she brought up the whole amanda situation and her not being in the wedding anymore, and that I shoulda waiting longer for an answer. Seriously!? Why? Why should I have waited longer for a fucking answer? I shouldn't even of had to wait for an answer "uh be in my brothers wedding or joes cousins wedding" Hmm!! Easy answer for a NORMAL person! But not her apparently. And I was tired of getting the fucking run around. Again, Its my fucking wedding and I'll do what I fucking want. So then the other thing was about kids not being invited and said "What if amanda and joe end up coming what are they supossed to do about emily?" well its no kids, unless their in the wedding, so they would have to get a BABYSITTER. I don't understand what the issue is with NO KIDS at a fucking wedding. I never went to weddings with my parents as a kid. I think I've been to two weddings in my life. Ugh! I can't stand it anymoree!


Eh, Got nothing else to do at work...
xodaydreamer
I hate being alone at work. Well not completely alone, just alone in our little office. It gets so boring in here, unless the phones are crazy. Then its even worse to be alone, cause you'll have like 4 people calling at once, AND if someone calls and you transfer them to the person whose handling their account and their not there, they won't leave a message. They'll just keep calling and torturing me!

Nothing much has really been going on lately. Just boring shit really. Theres a lot going to be happening with the wedding over the next month or so.  Sunday is bridesmaid dresses, next saturday is flowers, and I have to order save the dates, and invitations, and alterations for my dress and not to mention having to find a bra for first before I get the alterations done, and probably have to find the shoes/slippers I plan on wearing..oy vey.

My birthday is a couple weeks away. I can't believe how fast time is going by. I'm going to be 24. Where has the time gone!? Seriously. Its crazy how fast time is going by, and by the time I know it the wedding will be here.

I'm really excited to be going to disney in september. I'm excited to actually be going on a vacation somewhere other than new hampshire with Neal.  The unfortunate part is that with the way my period has been it seems I might have my period while we are on the honeymoon in disney! Ugh. I'm hoping my cycle changes cause its going to be sooo annoy/uncomfortable to be walking around disney with my period.

Work is lovely. Minus the fact that my aunt annoys the shit outta me atleast everyday! Ugh I know shes the one who more of less got me the job, or well set up the interview and told them about me, but it was my awesome personality that got me job. But she just annoys the shit outta me half the time! She acts like a 2 year old sometimes. ugh

I don't really know what else to talk about, i'm just trying to kill time before its time to go and don't want to be sitting on facebook like a loser like I normally do haha.

Only 20 minutes left, I guess i'll go surf the web or something boring...


So sick of being disappointed by people!!
xodaydreamer
I have so much anger in me right now its ridiculous. I'm hoping this helps me to feel a little better, and I don't care if feelings get hurt. Its my livejournal I can say what I want.

It really fucking bothers me that the same person in my life who is supossed to be a "best friend" always disappoints me! I'm so sick of trying to make plans THEN not hearing about it for almost a week then when I ask about it, things changed. Do me the fucking favor and don't fucking ask me if your not going to follow through or not fucking tell me things might have changed until I text you! Then you say ok let me talk to so and so and see what they say, THEN end up breaking the plans anyway! This pisses me the fuck off even MORE, when I say "oh feb 22 we're going to do bridesmaid dresses" and your response is "well heres the thing I can put myself as off in the book but my boss doesn't do the schedule til the week before so I won't know what my schedule is" and you don't even seem like you fucking care! THis is stuff for my fucking wedding that I asked to you to be in last fucking march when I fucking got engaged! I'm planning the bridesmaid dresses for a sunday, almost a fucking month in advance telling you so you can get off then you tell me that and seem like you don't even care! What the fuck? Tell your fucking boss not to be a douche and to actually look at something when peoplpe are asking for days off! Espcially if its something important! What about the day of the bridal shower once thats planned? What about the actual wedding day?

I have not been so fucking mad in such a long time. I am so tired of the same shit! Your always pulling some shit! You make plans with me, and not for nothing its you asking ME THEN you don't tell me whats going on until I freaking text you and the plans might have changed! What is that!? Seriously! I almost thought of selling my NKOTB tickets cause I am so mad right now that I don't even know if I want to go with you! 

I'm sorry if you don't like this post, well too bad. It had to be said...And its been said before in the past that I'm sick of the crap and never seeing you but nothings changed. If you don't care about this friendship then why the fuck should I?


So Fucking Cranky..
xodaydreamer
Ugh. I am so fucking cranky right now...All I fucking want to do is go the fuck home..But no, I have 45 minutes left at work, and its monday night so that means I have to go fucking sit at my parents house so neal can do it laundry.  The one shitty thing about the fucking apartment. Theres no room for a freaking washer/dryer. I seriously do not want to go over there tonight cause I will have to listen to them fucking annoy me for being cranky. Ugh. I am so sick of the fucking phones at work right now. Its like people know when you freaking by yourself so they all call at once, and if they don't get a live person they'll keep calling instead of leaving a voicemail. I am so not in the mood for this right now. And I can't find some stupid fucking health insurance form that I need to get my taxes back. This health insurance shit is fucking bull shit with the taxes. Its my fucking money not you asshole state and federal people who make more freaking money than I do, and probably do less work than I do.

And I fucking hate the moron people who call in and say "i just got a call from this number"..thats fucking nice, do you have a name or a reference number of who called you!? Am I a mind reader who can tell who called you when there are tons of people who work here? What the fuck? if someone calls my phone and I don't know the number I don't answer or call it back! If its important they'd leave a message OR call back. I am so not in the fucking mood today. And with my luck if I do find this bullshit health insurance tax form thing my mom probably won't even do my taxes for me tonight..Its not like shes doing anything anyways! It takes 5 minutes! I need to learn to do it myself so I can get it done. I need this freaking money for shit and I don't want to have to wait forever for her to freaking do it for me. Ugh!

What the fuck ever...I just want to fucking go home...But with the way this afternoon is going the stupid fucking dog will probably have shit in the fucking house again. I seriously feel like running away. Ugh!


(no subject)
xodaydreamer
I love my wii fit.
Time is flying by..The wedding is getting closer everyday
Found the bridesmaid dresses.
I hope this year is just as good as last year if not better.

New Kids announced spring tour dates. Guess whose fuckin goin? Oh hell yeah i'm going! AND goin with my bestest friend just like in september. Fucking Awesome. Fucking Amazing. I can't wait.
I have the greatest fiance EVER.

I'm a princess :)



Christmas Time Update. Like Alwayysss
xodaydreamer
So I can honestly say I thought this christmas was going to suck. But I have to admit, it didn't. It was pretty awesome. I always like to make a list of presents, so here goes:

Grammy gave neal and I 100$ to put toward our camcordr.

Uncle Rob, Chrissy, Rob & Austin gave us 30$ GC to target.

Neals parents got us a digital frame, 50$ GC to outback that can be used at carabbas, they got me a bathrobe, and new pajamas, and crazy comfy socks that would be awesome to slide across the kitchen floor on if the kitchen was bigger.

Vicki from work got me the wedding singer DVD cause its one of my faves, a three rack cookie cooling rack, a diabetic cook book, and a book "i'm looking through your: growing up haunted"

Tony got me a 30$ GC for itunes.

Amy got me the second season of the golden girls on DVD

Ricky got me the first season of golden girls on DVD and pumpkin bread type thing mix

Auntie got me apple cinammon pancake mix from stonewall kitchen and apple cinammon syrup and a gingerbread lollipop.

Amy F. got me a huge stocking thing, a bride and groom figurine cutting the cake(so cute i love it), a couple other little things.

Amanda(amys sister) gave me a frame with the picture of the two of us from her graduation.

My parents got me some new PJs, slippers, 20$ GC to target, a gift pack thing that has body wash, lotion, soap and stuff and a honeymoon scrapbook thing.
They got neal and I a 250$ GC to best buy for our camcorder, and luggage tags where mine says "Mrs. always right" and neals says "Mr. Right" haha wicked cute.

Saved the best for last! Now I didn't think I was getting anything from neal cause he bought me my glasses, but when we were at north conway he picked up a few things that I was pointing out haha. He got me 4 pairs of toe socks, harry potter clue, ugg type slippers from target(he was going to get me the real ugg slippers but couldn't let him spend 90$ on slippers..), the book Tale of Beedle the bard, the book Harry a history, those are all the ones I knew about, then he went out and got me some I didn't know about. He got me 8 crazy nights DVD, Raving Rabbid Rabbits TV party for the Wii, annnnnnnnnnnd GUITAR HEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Sooooooooo excited for Guitar Hero! He got the one with two guitars. OMG I'm addicted. I loves it!

Christmas was pretty freaking awesome this year.  We got out camcorder yesterday. So excited...I got a bonus at work(another surprise) so I went to torrid yesterday and got 3 shirts cause they had half off clearance, and a pair of boots that were half off.  Now that the holidays are over its time to get wedding plans going..February we're going bridesmaid dress shopping, January is the taste testing, and probably ordering the save the dates. Can't forget registering in a couple weeks! Very excited!

Hope everyone had a nice christmaaaaaaaaaas! Back to work tomorrow..Yuck..




(no subject)
xodaydreamer
SoOoOo I know its been a couple months since I went to see my boys <3 NKOTB in concert, but I swear whenever I listen to the block it brings me right back to that fabulous concert. I don't care how lame you think it is, or what you have to say. All that matters is that I'm happy. Listening to this CD makes me happy. It makes me happy that I finally got to see them in concert and scream my freaking heart out and would give anything to do it again. If they come back to boston, I'm going again. I don't care if I have to go by myself. I'm going. And I'll scream my heart out again, if not louder. I'll make sure to have water so my throat doesn't dry out so I can keep on screaming and singing and have the time of my life.  I would absolutely love to meet them.

Believe me, NKOTB will be played at my wedding.

Registering for wedding stuff @ bed bath & beyond/crate and barrel soon <3

I feel like this has been my year. Minus the diabetes, pcos, high cholesterol shit. I mean c'mon did I really expect to go through this year with NO obstacles!?..The answer is YES. I did expect that.  It still upsets me about the diabetes. It forever will.  But its just one of those obstacles in the road that unfortunately will never really go away. Cause as of right now I am not considered diabetic, but thats cause my pills have it under control and I kinda do too in a way I guess.  A lot happened this year. I feel I've grown in a way.

I went to the doctors last night, I lost 2 more pounds. So that totals 27 lbs, my doctor said I lost a 6 month old baby. haha. We've set the goal of me being under 240 by the first of the year, so I think about 3 pounds will put me just under 240...Normally I would never post my weight, but I guess I've grown to accept it, and the fact that I've lost so much weight then why not? I'm finding confidence in myself.

I'm excited to see what next year brings. I'm excited to see how Obama does in office. cause yes I baracked the vote as people say.

I have to admit that lately, when I think of babies I get scared. I get nervous of being a mommy some day, and not knowing when the times right, and what not.  I just hope things go as planned for neal and I.  His car is almost paid off. So fukin excited for that. Only owes about 1400$ on it, then what he saves from that monthly bill hes paying off his credit cards, atv, then my credit cards, then we save for our house someday <3  I tease myself and look at houses online when bored at work.  I had to stop cause it depressed me and made me want to go out and buy a house like STAT. but I also know we cannot afford one right now with our debts.  Hopefully the next 3 years or so we can get one and start our own family <3



(no subject)
xodaydreamer
So I'm wicked like eh/bleh today. IDK why. Maybe its cause I might be getting my period soon? Maybe I'm just PMSing or something, cause i'm really not due for another two weeks I think...Who the hell knows anymore. I certainly don't remember anymore.  I screwed up my thing on yourdays.com which sucks cause that thing was damn accurate once you put in the date of you last period, but its not working for me today..Lame....Time to go home yet? Is it the weekend yet?

Quickie.
xodaydreamer
SORRY FOR THE CAPS LOCK, AT WORK AND NEED TO KEEP IT ON FOR THE SYSTEM WE WORK WITH..LAME I KNOW..

SO I'M WICKED TIRED. I REALLY JUST WANT TO GO HOME, BUT UNFORTUNATELY ITS MONDAY AND MONDAY MEANS MONDAY NIGHT AT MOMS HOUSE DOING LAUNDRY TIL ATLEAST 8:30..WICKED SUCKAGE CAUSE I GET SO BORED THERE HALF THE TIME..AND I GET WICKED MUNCHIES CAUSE THEY HAVE ALL THE GOOD SNACKS I WON'T KEEP IN THE HOUSE.

CANNOT WAIT FOR TURKEY DAY! SO EXCITED TO STUFF MY FACE. HAHA NOT REALLY. BUT AM WICKED EXCITED FOR ALL THE FIXINGS AND MY MOMS STUFFED MUSHROOMS. OMG SO YUMMY. I EAT ALMOST ALL OF THEM. I'M GOING TO TRY AND NOT EAT TOO MUCH THOUGH CAUSE I HAVE BEEN DOING GOOD WITH MY 25 POUND WEIGHT LOSS. YAHOO..UNFORTUNATELY I STILL HAVE YET TO JUMP ONTO THE EXERCISE BAN WAGON. UGH. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I HAVE SUCH AN ISSUE WITH IT. I NEVER WILL UNDERSTAND EITHER.

I'M DOING TERRIBLE WITH MY WATER INTAKE AGAIN...I DO GOOD FOR AWHILE, THEN THAT DAMN BAN WAGON TOSSES ME RIGHT OFF!  I'M TRYING TO DO BETTER. WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

THE WEDDING IS COMING UP CRAZY FAST. ITS LIKE 9 MONTHS AWAY OR SOMETHING CRAZY! MY GRANDMOTHER HASN'T REALLY BEEN SAYING SHIT ABOUT MY WEDDING, SHES JUST BEEN BOTHERING MY COUSIN LYNNE ABOUT HERS, BUT I GUESS THE OTHER DAY WHEN MY MOM AND AUNT AND COUSINS AND GRANDMOTHER WENT TO SEE LYNNE'S DRESS GRAMMY WAS STARTING ABOUT MY WEDDING. WELL THE FACT THAT I AM NOT WEARING A VEIL. LYNNE STUCK UP FOR ME CAUSE I WASN'T THERE, BUT BELIEVE ME I'M GETTING MY DUKES READY TO FIGHT ON THURSDAY IF ANYTHING GETS SAID. PEOPLE ARE GOING TO TURN ME INTO A BRIDEZILLA I SWEAR!

ON ANOTHER NOTE! I CANNOT WAIT TO GO AWAY FRIDAY. SO EXCITED. SANTAS VILLAGE ON FRIDAY. HOORAY! I'M SUCH A KID, BUT I'D HAVE IT NO OTHER WAY! YOU HAVE TO HAVE FUN IN LIFE EVEN IF ITS GOING TO SOME AMUSEMENT PARK THAT PEOPLE THINK IS "CHILDISH." SOO EXCITED FOR IT.  SATURDAY WILL BE SHOPPING IN NORTH CONWAY. HOPEFULLY I'LL GET SOME GIFTS FOR PEOPLE. I ALREADY STARTED AND GOT A FEW PEOPLE OFF THE LIST DONE! EH. I GUESS THATS IT..NOTHING MORE TO SAY...


(no subject)
xodaydreamer
Hey Kiiiids! Its been awhile since I've been to this thing! And seeing as how I have nothing else to do right now at work, maybe I'll do a little update...Not much has been going on. Very bored lately. Wedding plans are moving along nicely. Flowers are the next major thing.  I figure after Christmas we will talk to a travel agent about out trip to Disney for our honeymoon, and start to register for gifts! YAY! So excited to register! Lame, I know, but not to me :)

I've lost a total of 24 pounds this year, GO MEEE! I need to start exercising though. Cause I'm going to hit a plateau at some point. So we'll see how that goes.

Works been good. Wicked slow which sucks, but atleast I can surf the internet, which gets crazy boring after awhile, can only do so much on myspace or facebook til I get bored.

Oooh I have glasses now. They're wicked cute and they're dolce & gabana :) Fabulous, I know.

Me and Amy weren't talking for a month, we got into a big fight but we just started talking again the other day. Very happy about that.

Hmm..What else? I CANNOT wait to break out the christmas cds!! Soo excited for christmas! I was very excited to find hansons xmas cd the other day, now I have to put it on my iPod!

We got a new entertainment stand..Finally!! I hated that other monstrosity!! It took up so much damn space...But not I have to find somewhere to put all the DVDs and CDs. The room looks soo much brighter now too.

Tony's going to be 21 in a couple weeks, I can't believe it. We're all grown up now. Its crazy!

Thats all I have for now...I can't wait for the day after thanksgiving to go to north conway for the weekend and santas village!! YAHOO!! Can't come fast enough!!


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